You Wear A Smile To Hide The Coward Underneath
by forhoplessdreamers
Summary: Jalex. Will Jack and Alex follow their true feelings, or just ignore them for the sake of the band?
1. Chapter 1

Alex Gaskarth woke up with a start. The tour bus hit a bump, and yet again Alex had rolled out of bed because of it. This is the fourth time this has happened since Vans Warped Tour started, and its only July still. Alex was on tour with numerous bands, including his own band, All Time Low. Alex wiped the sleep out of his eyes and checked his phone. He tweeted something just to pass the time and see what his fans were up to. He noticed Jack Barakat's light was still on in his bunk. Thinking Jack just forgot to turn it off again; Alex pulled the curtain open and cursed.

But only to find Jack wasn't in his bunk, where could he have gone? They're in a moving bus, there's nowhere to go. But then again, its Jack so he's probably in the bathroom. So Alex just shrugged it off and laid back down in his bunk hoping that the dreams he'd been having would go away. Jack and Alex have been best friends since they were in 8th grade; they've been closer than best friends. They're basically one person. And their fans have even come up with a nickname for them, "Jalex".

Alex isn't gay, and neither is Jack, but the way Alex felt around Jack was unbelievable. Alex has had girlfriends, and has been in love, yet no one compared to Jack, and it scared Alex. Since the New Year Alex has been having dreams of confessing his love for Jack, or Jack confessing his love for him. Some of them Jack and Alex even make love, or Jack and Alex are together, married even. It scared Alex having all these dreams, just because Jack and him acted gay didn't mean they really were gay. Alex Gaskarth was hopelessly and madly in love with Jack Barakat, but he couldn't tell him for the sake of their friendship.

By the time Jack had came out of the bathroom, Alex shut his phone off and pretended to be fast asleep.

"And you always yell at me about keeping my light on, don't you?" Jack smirked,

"Yanno, you could WAKE UP and turn off your light, don't you think?" nothing, he sighed, and turned off Alex's light, but before he did that he looked at Alex, and it pained him. Seeing someone he loved so much, someone he wanted so bad, but couldn't have.

Jack knew he always loved Alex, from day one. But now, ever since the New Year, he couldn't get him out of his head, or heart. Jack knew it was stupid and "Jalex" was only real in the eyes of his fans, but damn it he wanted it to be more then something then just a fan fiction. Jack had even read some of these stories, to see if they would stop him from wanting anything more than just a healthy friendship with Alex. Wrong. The stories had only made him want and need Alex all the more. They had even made more sense than trying to fight off his feelings.

And then there was the band, it wasn't just Alex he'd make hate him if he told Alex how he felt. There was Rian Dawson and Zack Merrick. They probably wouldn't hate him, and neither would Alex. They'd probably never reject him if he ever said anything either, but they wouldn't look at him the same way. Acting gay is different than being gay, and that's one of All Time Low's thing, they all act gay together. With Zack and Rian it's in all fun and games, but when it's with Alex, Jack wants it to be more than just "fun and games" he wants a relationship, an honest one at that. Jack Barakat was hopelessly and madly in love with Alex Gaskarth, but he couldn't tell him for the sake of the band.

Jack crawled into his own bunk and just laid there, wondering if maybe, possibly, Alex felt the same way. But ever since the New Year, Alex seemed really distant. It broke Jack's heart even more. To the fans, they were the same old "Jalex" but in reality they weren't. The most Jack and Alex do together is Interviews, Meet and Greets, and the Concerts. That's basically it, and Jack wants to crawl into a ball and just stay like that for the rest of his life. Jack wasn't gay though, so why did he have feelings for someone who wasn't gay either, let alone the person he was in love with was his best friend.

Jack sighed, loud, and hopped on twitter hoping his fans would take his mind off of things. But then again, something caught his eyes from one of the people he was followed, "Alexander William: 2 minutes ago 'Just rolled out of my bunk, again. Let's have a good one today, Chicago.'" Alex was awake just now, and he didn't even look at Jack when he turned off his light, when Jack had spoken to him. Jack was speechless; never in all the years had he known Alex, Alex never did anything like this. To pretend to be asleep then to rather face Jack. Jack's lower lip started trembling, he quickly blinked out the tears that were forming and tweeted "Chicago, let's do something big." And he meant that, with that he took one last glance at Alex and drifted off to sleep.

Alex peeked over to see if Jack was sleeping, and to his luck he was. Alex felt bad, but if he was forced to see Jack's flawless face, he'd lose it. Alex sighed; Jack's face was inches away from his a few short minutes ago. He could taste Jack's breath, it tickled his nostrils. He could have just kissed him, then and there. But he couldn't, Jack wasn't in love with Alex, Alex was in love with Jack. And he was scared of what was to become of himself if Jack didn't find out.


	2. Chapter 2

Alex was last to get up, like always. Rian was facetiming his girlfriend, Cassadee Pope and Zack was working out: typical day on the road. But where was Jack? Alex rubbed the sleep from his eyes and jumped out of his bunk.

"Alex, you guys have a signing at the Kia text at 2pm and then play the Main Stage at 5pm, got it?" Matt Flyzik informed Alex while he piled cold pancakes onto his plate.

"Got it, where's Jack?" Alex asked taking a bite of food

"He's out hanging with Austin; I think Austin's giving you a run for your money." Rian teased.

"Austin does have legs that go on for miles; I just have eyebrows that go on for miles." Alex laughed, "I never thought we'd actually be cool with one of the "harder" bands on Warped."

"There's still Motionless In White and I think they still won't talk to us because we let Blood On The Dance Floor on our bus that one time." Zack laughed

"They're some scary looking dudes, but pretty cool honestly. Really great to their fans, Chris is pretty nice I talked to him once or twice. Way better eyebrows than Alex's, his are fancy." Flyzik joined in.

"I cannot help that he spends as much time on his eyebrows as I do jacking off." Alex smirked, "Which isn't long I guess. Four minutes max." The tour bus filled with laughter.

Jack was sitting with the band Of Mice & Men and their crew; he had grown pretty close with the band's front man, Austin Carlile. He liked that even though Of Mice & Men thanked their fans on stage and told them to open pits; while All Time Low made dick jokes and thanked their fans, the bands were pretty similar: they loved what they were doing and being a part of Warped was the best part of their summers.

"So what again are you guys calling that tour with Pierce The Veil?" Austin asked

"Spring Fever; the kids are gonna go nuts." Jack smiled, "We're really excited for it honestly. We got Mayday Parade and You Me At Six to go with us. It's so cool that we could put this together."

"Too bad our fans would probably throw a riot if we toured together." The bassist/singer Aaron sighed.

"Honestly I think too many kids would get hurt," Guitarist Alan explained, "You have a younger more I don't know like laid back? Kind of fans. Our fans live for our "hard" pits. He bit his lip, "Not dissing you guys or your fans but I think it's safer for all of us not to go on tour together. Unless it's like a thing like this."

"I get you guys. Our fans get a little crazy; but not like yours. Me and Alex-" Jack felted a little strange saying 'Alex', "We get a little pit going, but nothing like yours."

"And we my friend thank you for noticing that." Austin smiled, "It's cool and all but sometimes they get really crazy and when I crowd surf, they steal my fucking shoes."

Jack laughed out loud, "That's not just happening to Of Mice & Men Austin, it happens to me all the time."

"They just think you guys can buy new shoes but that's not the case; one time Austin got a pair of his favorite Vans taken and he was pissy about it the rest of the tour." Alan teased.

"They were a gift from a fan in my defense. They were hand painted with our logo on them." Austin informed them, "They were really awesome and I felt so bad because he worked really hard on them and they just got taken off my feet because these kids can't stop taking my fucking shoes." Austin laughed.

"One time I got a painted picture of myself and I spilled beer all over it and I almost punched myself in the dick." Alan responded

"Rian got a picture of himself painted in coffee and he almost cried. It was probably my favorite signing we've ever had in a history of signings." Jack laughed.

Jack enjoyed Of Mice & Men's company, maybe because he felt guilty about keeping a secret from his best friends; but he didn't feel guilty keeping it from Of Mice & Men, they weren't the people he grew up with. So keeping this from them wouldn't affect them, they wouldn't even need to know honestly. It was just a nice way of keeping away from his band mates without them noticing anything was up. Jack still couldn't face his feelings and he didn't plan on it anytime soon, so having Of Mice & Men around was nice thing.


End file.
